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the mental load of motherhood
The mental load of motherhood becomes unbearable for so many women in December, but almost no one talks about it.
mama, I want to tell you something honestly, gently, and without sugar-coating it: mothers are drowning under expectations, emotional labour, and exhaustion and the world has no idea how heavy it truly is.
Not the way it truly feels.
Not the way it steals your breath at 3am.
Not the way your brain feels like 47 tabs open on a laptop that’s about to overheat.
Not the way you’re expected to hold the joy, the magic, the planning, the emotion and the mental load for everyone around you… while running on broken sleep and sheer determination.
Everywhere you look, motherhood is wrapped in “shoulds”:
You should enjoy every moment.
You should make it magical.
You should say yes.
You should keep everyone happy.
You should be grateful.
You should look like you’re coping.
But mama… you were never meant to carry this much.
And December?
December takes the already heavy load of motherhood and turns it into something almost impossible to hold.
Because what people don’t see is this:
Behind every sparkling Christmas photo is a mother quietly holding the entire operation together.
Behind every gift is a mental checklist only she knows.
Behind every gathering is a mama calculating nap windows, feeding logistics, bags to pack, overstimulation risks and emotional fallout.
Behind every “Merry Christmas!” is a woman who has already done 95% of the invisible work.
And still somehow mums are the first to be judged if they’re tired, overwhelmed, or struggling.
So I wanted to write this letter to you, the mother just trying to hold it all together, because I see you and someone needs to tell you:
What you’re carrying is enormous.
And the world has no idea how heavy it truly is.
breaking the silence
Every December, the holiday mental load intensifies the emotional load of motherhood in ways most people never see. As a NICU nurse, IBCLC, and mother, I see the cracks forming long before mums ever admit they’re not coping.
December magnifies everything:
- the pressure
- the overstimulation
- the expectations
- the guilt
- the comparison
- the fear of disappointing others
- the emotional labour of making Christmas feel special
The mental load doesn’t just increase, it multiplies.
These expectations fuel the emotional load of motherhood and leave so many overwhelmed mothers feeling like they’re failing at the one time of year they’re trying the hardest.
And yet, we rarely talk about it.
We don’t name it.
We don’t soften it.
We don’t acknowledge that mama’s are the emotional backbone of this season, and they are buckling under the weight.
This is why I’m dedicating December and January to the real, messy, unfiltered truths of motherhood.
Because you deserve support.
Because you deserve honesty.
Because you deserve gentleness.
Because you deserve to be seen – especially now.
why I created the FREE holiday survival guide
Not to give you more to do.
Not to make you feel like there’s a “right way.”
Not to add pressure or pretend a guide can magically fix everything.
But to take some of the weight off your shoulders.
Every mama I know describes the mental load of motherhood as overwhelming and December makes it heavier than ever. So I created this guide to gently ease the holiday mental load and give you a realistic, compassionate way to survive the season without burning out.
Inside, you’ll find simple tools to help you:
✨ simplify the chaos
✨ protect your peace
✨ set boundaries without guilt
✨ make feeding + naps easier on the go
✨ support your nervous system
✨ feel prepared without expecting perfection
Just the things that truly help – nothing that drains you.
You don’t have to be the Christmas entertainment committee.
You don’t have to say yes to everyone who wants a visit or a cuddle.
You don’t have to perform motherhood like a holiday movie.
You deserve ease.
You deserve joy.
You deserve a Christmas that honours your capacity, not everyone else’s demands.
This guide is my gift to you – a practical, compassionate support system for the season every new mama finds overwhelming.
support for the mental load of motherhood no one sees
If motherhood had a soundtrack during December, it would be a loop of quiet self-criticism:
“Am I doing enough?”
“Why can’t I cope?”
“Why does everyone else look like they’re thriving?”
“Why do I feel so alone?”
“What’s wrong with me?”
This is the hidden mental load, the emotional weight no one sees but every mother carries.
And this is why I will be sharing weekly affirmations from my socials for you.
Not as cute quotes.
Not as fluffy pep-talks.
Not as toxic positivity.
But as a way to bring you home to yourself.
Motherhood, especially at Christmas chips away at your identity:
- you stop recognising the woman in the mirror
- you forget your strength
- you question your body
- you minimise your needs
- you shrink your boundaries
- you disappear behind the role of “mum”
So these affirmations are your anchors.
A reminder that:
- you are enough
- you are powerful
- your body is extraordinary
- your softness is not failure
- your limits are allowed
- your tears are valid
- your boundaries are necessary
And every week throughout this season, I’ll be giving you a new set.
- To steady you.
- To lift you.
- To remind you who you are beneath the overwhelm.
- To help you hear your own voice again through the noise of the world’s expectations.
Because mama… you deserve support for your emotional and mental load just as much as you deserve support for nappies, feeds, and sleep.
Be sure to keep an eye out on my instagram and/or facebook for your weekly drop! 💖
mother's are breaking in silence
Motherhood has become a silent struggle. Mums are exhausted in ways society still refuses to acknowledge, yet still expected to smile through the pressure, the holiday photos, and the unrealistic demands placed on them. Someone needs to say the things mothers whisper in private but are too scared to speak out loud — and if no one else will stand up for them, I will. This season, ‘for mama, with love’ is my reminder to every woman that she is seen, she is worthy, she is allowed to rest, and she does not have to carry this alone
from my heart to yours
mama… You are doing the hardest job in the world during the hardest season of the year.
You are not failing – you are carrying too much.
You are not weak – you are exhausted.
You are not alone – you are part of a mamaunity that understands you deeply.
This month and next, I’ll be walking beside you.
With honesty.
With compassion.
With expertise.
With lived experience.
With zero judgement.
Because the mental load of motherhood is not yours to carry alone, not in December, not ever
I got you, mama.
Always.
— Courts 💖
download your free “ultimate holiday survival guide for new mamas” and let it take some of the weight off your shoulders
